Imagine waking up at three in the morning to your spouse frantically scrambling to find specific materials, screaming, and even turning violent. They exhibit the amount of energy one would experience after taking one too many espresso shots. However, after 10 minutes of this, they are suddenly crying, exhausted, and telling you they are worthless and do not wish to be alive anymore. It seems like a quick change of emotions in minutes, right? This is the reality for those living with bipolar disorder, a mental condition that consists of a rollercoaster of emotions ranging from manic highs to depressive lows. With this range of emotions, people diagnosed with this disorder struggle to maintain a consistent support system since they can be deemed as “unpredictable.” But what is it like if you are in an intimate relationship with a bipolar person? Does the example previously mention occur every second of the day? Or is there ever some sense of consistency?
Bipolar Disorder is categorized into two types: Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2. According to Johns Hopkins Medicine, Bipolar 1 is more intense than Bipolar 2. People diagnosed with Bipolar 1 experience manic episodes that feature hallucinations, delusions or paranoia. As a result of these symptoms, people with Bipolar 1 may need to be hospitalized so that they do not hurt themselves or those around them. They also act impulsively, causing detrimental consequences to their lives and to the lives of those around them. In contrast to severity, those diagnosed with Bipolar 2 deal with hypomanic episodes that are less intense than Bipolar 1; however, they still display abnormal behavior. This abnormal behavior includes quick speech, lessened desire for sleep, and increased energy and drive. It is more difficult to maintain an intimate relationship with someone who has been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 as their episodes are more intense. Nevertheless, it is still possible.
In an intimate relationship with someone diagnosed with bipolar, it is a struggle for the partner that is not bipolar to have consistent validation and wanting. This is because those who are bipolar experience contrasting emotions frequently. For instance, Johns Hopkins Medicine reports that it is not unusual during manic or hypomanic episodes for people with bipolar disorder to ask for intercourse more often, while during depressive episodes, they might avoid any form of intimacy altogether. Due to these two polar opposite desires, the partner not with bipolar disorder may feel rejected or confused because the emotions their partner feels are not consistent.
In marriages, bipolar disorder also serves as a significant struggle as there is a legal, and financial component to the relationship. This is particularly challenging because some with bipolar disorder might endanger their loved ones financially during a manic or hypomanic episode through gambling, excessive spending on others, etc. According to WebMD, 90% of marriages where a spouse has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder have failed. But what have the other 10% done to make them successful? The odds of success are stacked against those with bipolar disorder, so what makes the relationship work?
WebMD and Health Central suggest that practicing the tips listed below provides a greater chance of success in an intimate relationship with a bipolar person:
Do not argue with the person during an episode.
Demonstrate compassion.
Get angry at the disorder, not the person. Remember, it is the disorder that is making the person act that way, not them.
If your partner turns abusive, do not settle for it and seek immediate help.
Research and understand the benefits of the illness.
Take a marriage education class.
In addition to these tips, ensure that the person who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder is taking their prescribed medication, maintaining their appointments and living a healthy lifestyle by doing the following:
Balance work with activities that you enjoy.
Maintain a consistent sleep schedule.
Maintain a healthy diet.
Exercise often.
Avoid alcohol and caffeine.
If you or someone you love is believed to exhibit symptoms of bipolar disorder, seek out professional help.