When is it Time to Seek Couples Counseling?

Jeena and Chris loved each other. They found the compatibility that couples desire for and decided to get married. Everything was fantastic, and frankly, people were a bit envious of them. They bought a new house together and raised two beautiful kids. 

When Jeena met a close friend Suzan, last summer, all she did was complain about Chris. It was surprising for Suzan to hear her complain. The last time when she met them, Chris and Jeena were devoted to each other. You see, Chris was the type of guy who truly cared about Jeena, and Jeena was the same. They always had that spark in their relationship. 

Now, Jeena complains that Chris doesn't understand a word she says: "I don't deserve this. He does not care about any of the stuff. Things aren't the way they were before". Ironically, Chris feels the same way about Jeena. They both blame each other for the chaos in their relationship. Sex isn't what it used to be, and communication isn't great either. At some point, Jeena thought that Chris was having an affair with someone. When Jeena tried to ask Chris, he ignored it by saying "you have lost your mind". Besides that, the frequent arguments between the two aren't making their lives easier. Lack of effective communication has led to a lack of emotional intimacy.  All of this has grown into a bag of mutual resentment and can burst into flames at any moment. Suzan, being a good friend to both Chris and Jeena convinced them to go for the couple's therapy. It has been three months into therapy, and those two love birds can already feel the difference. 

What is couple's therapy? 

The name in itself is the definition of "couple's therapy." It is a type of psychotherapy that deals with two individuals in a relationship. In this process, the licensed therapist helps the two individuals resolve interpersonal conflicts. Conflicts are a vital part of any relationship, and that is how it grows. However, unresolved conflicts can lead to anger, frustration, and blame game. The therapist works together with the couple to recognize the unhealthy patterns in their relationship. The issues are looked at from both perspectives and the therapist assists in providing insights about those issues.

Furthermore, the therapist educates the couple about the emotional and behavioral responses to certain situations. Old communication patterns are first analyzed and then replaced with more effective ones. With time, the couple modifies their reactions to different situations and strengthens their emotional bonds. When the couple becomes aware of the problems and dysfunctional patterns, they are equipped with strategies to tackle them. 

When do you seek Couples therapy?

Can you point some of the things that you felt were off in Chris and Jeena's relationship? These things made it necessary for them to go for couple's therapy. 

Lack of effective communication was a significant problem in their relationship. In fact, in any relationship, casualties occur due to a lack of effective communication. Chris and Jeena could not understand each other's emotions and intentions behind their broken conversations. Therefore they got lost in the labyrinth of misunderstandings. There was a time when Jeena thought that Chris was cheating on her. At that moment, Chris could have patiently sat her down and clarified everything. However, he chose not to do that. This creates a lack of trust between the partners. Without trust, it is hard to have emotional intimacy, playfulness, physical intimacy, and spontaneity in any relationship. You could see it in Chris, and Jeena's relationship. Their emotional and sex life was taking a hit. Those things compounded with a lack of effective communication make any relationship nothing but a massive bag of mutual resentment. It is that place where couples don't want to be. It is that place where individuals feel that everything their partner says or does is to hurt them. That is where frequent arguments/fights can take place. Don't get me wrong. Partners are bound to argue about things that they strongly feel about. The problem is when these arguments become a perpetual cycle. Sometimes, you may even know where your partner puts full stops and commas in their statements because of the repeatability of the process. Sometimes, you may even see where the argument is heading but can't change the responses. That is precisely where couple's therapy should be considered. 

If you relate to Chris and Jeena, then you need to go for couple's therapy. The more you wait for it, the more these unhealthy relationship patterns strengthen. It would be best if you go for the couple's therapy when there is still an emotional connection between you and your partner. Chris and Jeena transformed their relationship in three months because they had not fallen out of love with each other. Do not wait a bit. Click on this link to get on a 15-minute consultation call.  You can ask the questions that you want about the process. Don’t worry about it, it is a FREE consultation call and will be scheduled according to your instructions.