Trigger Warning. This post contains content related to death and suicide. If you are someone is in need of immediate support, please reach out to one of our crisis lines. In the midst of COVID 19, a friend of mine contemplated suicide. With uncertainties in every aspect of her life, she had one menacing certainty in her heart; death. She felt that her death was the only means to ease out her agonizing reality. Her life decisions, the people around her, and her cultural norms had pushed her down into a pit of darkness. When she explained these things to us, she wiped her tears frequently and caressed her silky black hair to the right side of her face. I could feel that it wasn't easy for her to speak about the things she was going through. A person, known for her childlike enthusiasm and massive ambitions had fallen prey to depression. 

What added kerosene to her mental conflagration was the introduction of COVID-19. She was stuck at home with little or no socialising at all. The worrying thing, however, was that none of her friends and family members had any knowledge about her excruciating experiences. We mainly conversed through texts and occasionally on call, but every time she talked, she sounded okay. 

When she finally opened up that day, I stood there thinking why wasn't she able to tell us this earlier. Had we failed in providing that environment and trust for her to open up with us? 

Anyways, we empathised with her and assured her that we were going to be supportive in any way she wanted us to be. With my background in psychology, I asked her to go for online therapy. 

I will tell you how therapy panned out for her at the end of this blog. 

Before that, I must tell you that I am incredibly motivated to write this blog post because I know much you love your friends and family. I know that you want to help them get past the mental suffering they might be experiencing right now. The goal of this blog is to provide you with tips/skills that you can use to support your loved ones through a mental illness. 

• Express your concern without using the alarmist language. Don't make it feel like it is the end of the world for them. By doing that, you are frightening them even more. At the same time, do not invalidate their experiences. Do not make it seem like it is not a big deal. Point being, take a sensitive and yet direct approach without hurting their feelings. Your goal should be to provide an environment for them in which they are not scared of being vulnerable. Genuinely listen to what they have to say, take some time and then respond.

• Empathy: You cannot fully understand people, but you can come close to understanding them. Empathy is a super-hero skill when it comes to understanding people. Simply put, empathy is when you put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see things from their perspective. By doing this, you will understand the struggles that they go through daily. You will know how it feels to live with a mental disorder. Empathy will also help you to have a much kinder attitude towards the people you love. 

• Do not diagnose: We love them and care for them and might advise them to do certain things. Friends usually say "let us party". They might go out with you and have fun. However, remember that the root cause of their mental discomfort is still unattended. Some might try to diagnose their condition, however, remember that you are not a professional. Instead, encourage them to go for professional help. 

• Keep your mental wellbeing in check: Family and friends can provide the necessary emotional support that one needs in times of any crisis. You must stay calm under the circumstances. It is also essential for you to keep your mental wellbeing in check. After all, if you are mentally well, then and only then can you fully immerse yourself in the process of helping them. 

With regards to my friend, she is improving day by day. She has been going to therapy for 5 months now. She says that she is getting to learn so much about herself. In fact, she looks forward to each session now. That is the best thing about therapy, it provides you with a new perspective about life. 

Fortunately, we at Connected Family Services provide individual therapy sessions. Our mission is to help your loved ones to experience the joys of life once again. Click on this link to get in touch with us. You must know that we are here for you and your loved ones.